Contrary to the Jedi philosophy in Star Wars; our reality is directed by not one but two forces.
You might call them Yin and Yang, Positive and Negative, Masculine and Feminine, Light and Dark, Good and Evil or anything else that implies the duality of this reality. These two forces are alive in us as the electric energy of the mind and the magnetic energy of the emotions. When these two forces are both aligned and focused consciously or unconsciously in a given direction, things really happen. If you are in the midst of a depression or a lifestyle you don't like, it's helpful to watch your thoughts & feelings. Are they drawing you deeper into the black hole? Chances are your thoughts are what you might consider "negative" & you are experiencing a multitude of unpleasant feelings. These thoughts & emotions are the forces that are creating your situation & if they persist, the situation you are in will continue to worsen.
Everything in this Reality is under the influence of change. They are either in a process of creation or destruction, expanding or contracting, evolving, devolving or in simple human terms: getting better or getting worse. No thing is ever in stillness.
Firstly: Let's remove any blame. It's not your fault. Our emotional & mental patterns, behaviours and programs were created long ago when we were children. We can't really blame our parents either as, in most cases they have been down passed unconsciously for many generations.
So... Secondly: let'd adopt a base state of loving compassion and gratitude for ourselves now, ourselves when we were children, our parents and all our ancestors. All of these consciousnesses are in some way a part of us and can be harnessed to assist us in our healing process. Thirdly: At any time you choose, you can focus your thoughts on how you would like things to be rather than how they are. If you really allow your emotions to also engage in the fantasy, you will be able to create, first, at least inside your self, the reality you desire in which you have: ease and grace, peace and harmony, love, joy and whatever else you would like. Once you have done that, revisit it regularly. Tweak the dream. Make it perfect in every way & you will witness that it will come to you. You will not have to go out there and look for it.
The key is to use both Thoughts AND feelings. Use them like a sail and rudder to let the breath of life blow you to your chosen destination. All you need to do is to nurture your inner world by taking responsibility for the thoughts you have & what you feel. The outer reality will always align with what's inside you.
Practical pointers to assist in the process:
Discipline: It takes some time to create new habits even if they are just the cultivation of new thought waves. You'll benefit from regular focus. Perhaps you can chant an affirmation in the way to work every day.
Small changes: Take off the pressure to create your own personal heaven on Earth over night. Often, it's the tiniest changes that make the biggest difference.
Anchors: Using tools like gratitude stones or other anchors to bring the mind & emotions back into control are very powerful.
Using your time/energy effectively: When you're feeling low, it can be the hardest thing in the world to do something good for you but this is exactly what's needed. Go do something good for yourself.
Detoxing the body/sugar addictions: Toxins and acids cause the body to decay. This process releases chemicals into the bloodstream that make us feel low. Cleaning the body internally can have a huge impact on emotional state as well as giving us more energy and a clearer, sharper mind.
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